they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
