So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
