Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
