It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You can't just leave with hair like that
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
