Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
