i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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