i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Say something about gay babies.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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