We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
