a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
