My hair reeks of homosexuality.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
