No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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