I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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