He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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