i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
