i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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