Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
