Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
