I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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