Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
