But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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