I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless