3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I didn't shave. On purpose
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
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