Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
