Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(647): View more from Ontario

Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.

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(647): Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream. http://tfl.nu/6zy9

Replies (1) Good night (1041) Bad night (1371)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass

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(513): I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass http://tfl.nu/na0v

Replies (16) Good night (2365) Bad night (1182)
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(206): View more from Washington

he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.

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(206): he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gr4l

Replies (39) Good night (826) Bad night (4997)
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(619): View more from California

i wish my penis had a tongue

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(619): i wish my penis had a tongue http://tfl.nu/t048

Replies (30) Good night (4158) Bad night (807)
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(281): View more from Texas

I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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(281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew

Replies (144) Good night (10090) Bad night (742)
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(650): View more from California

an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.

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(650): an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty. http://tfl.nu/vy3j

Replies (81) Good night (10318) Bad night (2913)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.

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(401): She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough. http://tfl.nu/js6s

Replies (19) Good night (5862) Bad night (1250)
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(813): View more from Florida

He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.

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(813): He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand. http://tfl.nu/9yan

Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (3318)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...

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(605): His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life... http://tfl.nu/cy2e

Replies (5) Good night (1121) Bad night (2887)
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(727): View more from Florida

Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...

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(727): Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo... http://tfl.nu/pcov

Replies (13) Good night (2744) Bad night (926)
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(+61): View more from Australia

Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.

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(+61): Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you. http://tfl.nu/q4u2

Replies (13) Good night (2137) Bad night (583)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.

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(570): the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year. http://tfl.nu/g3sd

Replies (4) Good night (1536) Bad night (428)
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(905): View more from Ontario

You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"

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(905): You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off" http://tfl.nu/v90r

Replies (4) Good night (778) Bad night (455)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...

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(814): My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away... http://tfl.nu/ltxy

Replies (4) Good night (645) Bad night (415)
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(563): View more from Iowa

He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.

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(563): He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him. http://tfl.nu/nqw4

Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (198)

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