we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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