She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
