blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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