i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
