its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
