Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Randomize
