Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
