how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
