Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
