Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
