Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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