We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
