For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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