Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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