Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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