i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize
