hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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