he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
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