12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize