I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
