I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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