Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
