When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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