Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
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don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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