My nipple is on Facebook.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
