Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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