loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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