She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
