Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
