No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
