i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
