At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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