so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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