Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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