Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize