I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
