can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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