Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
