chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
