dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
