i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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